It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
