I must be too annoying 4 u.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
What happened to fro yo and sex?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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