There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
