Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
