glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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