Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
