oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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