Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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