Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
