I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
