I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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