but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
