$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize