im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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