There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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