I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
