I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize