My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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