is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
