I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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