she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
