we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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