you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
sarcasm needs its own font
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
