New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize