The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
