nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
