Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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