So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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