For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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