i need an iv and a liver transplant
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
