I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize