im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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