in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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