HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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