in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
