On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
