you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
