How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
