Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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