Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
