Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
