I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
