yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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