Porn is love you can see.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
