i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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