I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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