...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
