my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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