Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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