so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
There's always time for handjobs
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
