i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
