Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
