If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
