Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
