Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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