Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
