my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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