People in love make me want to vomit
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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