That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
