Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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