I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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