I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
