Four minutes until I can fart!
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
