Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
