Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
