Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize