I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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