We're like a lot better than the average bears
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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