the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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