idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
