Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
