windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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