Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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