im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
