He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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