How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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