dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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