bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
