Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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