I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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